I Hate Them Happy Songs

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"I Hate Them Happy Songs"

My wife, she's gone an' left me for some dude from Abilene;

I've put on lots of blubber, but my steers are lookin' lean.

My quarter mare is limping, and my baler's broken down;

The hay's been rained-on, cats and dogs, and turned all moldy brown.

My cow dog's been run over, by my neighbor's pickup truck;

I've lost my whole darned paycheck on some bad casino luck;

An' things are just about as bad as they could ever be.

To top it off, the radio sings happy songs to me.

Chorus: Oh I hate them happy songs Yeh! I hate them happy songs.

When things are goin' bad, I've got a right to feelin' sad—

entitled to my salty tears a-drippin' into luke warm beers,

my mortgage three months in arrears. I hate them happy songs.

My Hereford bull's been rustled, and my record player's broke.

The egg 1 fried this mornin' had a chicken in its yolk!

The roof is leakin' like a sieve;the hay barn's fallin' down;

my bottom lip's got gangrene from its unrelenting frown.

I've run plumb-out of tonic, so I'm runnin' low on spunk.

My trusty little pickup's now a rusty heap of junk.

Yep, things are just about as bad as they could ever be.

To top it off, the radio sings happy songs to me.

Chorus: Oh I hate them happy songs Yeh! I hate them happy songs.

When things are goin' bad, I've got a right to feelin' sad—

entitled to my salty tears a-drippin' into luke warm beers,

my mortgage three months in arrears. I hate them happy songs.

Final chorus: Oh I hate them happy songs Yeh! I hate them happy songs.

that lift my heart and boost it up, like champagne in my coffee cup...

that mend my heartaches, tears, and rips, and lift my load of cattle chips

and bring a smile to my lips. I hate them happy songs.